When I wrote yesterday’s diary I was still – what I call – running on adrenaline.
I’d had a busy couple of days and a shock because of my ‘little mandoline accident’ while I was cooking on Sunday.
Adrenaline running through my body like there was because of the accident makes me first off feel a type of staggered, artificial high. When it runs out I crash. I crashed on Sunday while I was sitting in A&E – but even that was a ‘little crash.’ The knack is to stop a ‘big crash’ happening.
Anyone with CFSME will recognise this sensation. ‘Crashing’ is a physical and mental collapse. It feels like every cell in my body that used to be buoyant and full of air suddenly gets a puncture all at once.
Because I know my body well I feel that too much adrenaline is my enemy. Adrenaline is the single thing that I have to even out and avoid my body being flooded with since I’ve been ill. Like Sunday though, sometimes you can’t avoid it.
Afterwards it leaves me feeling physically and mentally like the dregs at the bottom of a petrol tank, a struggling engine that can’t ignite and run smoothly.
So today I’m putting myself in the garage to have a day of rest.
Resting properly is the only thing I have put on my list of things to do today.
I’ll have a long hot bath [with a rubber glove on my right hand still to protect the dressing!], rest on my sofa for the day and listen to some music, watch a few programmes on TV and read a book.
It is absolutely essential that I do this today. If I don’t, I risk pay back from too much adrenaline coursing around my body on Sunday. If I don’t rest and ride the adrenaline high, it will make me far iller, rubbing out my life for the next few days.
It’ll be a nice day of rest and I’m looking forward to it. I’ve got things that I do when I have to have days like today that are quietly enjoyable.
Doing self care like this is one of the things that the experience of having MECFS has taught me over the last 2 years.
I’ll write again tomorrow.
© Lindy 2015