CFSME is a fluctuating condition. That means that in my case, some days are better than others. Today was a ‘day that was better than others.’ MUCH better than others 🙂
I was trying to explain it to someone I saw today. I explained it as having choices return. I could choose to do more than I usually do, I could choose to have a conversation for longer than I usually do, I could walk more, I could think more, I had a day of lots of shades and colors. It was productive and it was interesting.
Usually life is like this. It’s dull and grey and I live in my head because I can’t go anywhere far with the thoughts I have.
But today it was like this, it felt multi-faceted, interesting and enjoyable.
Yes, Ok. Not exactly like that picture, but when my symptoms lift, life comes back and I feel and breathe and think in a sudden rush of colours.
So today I am not going to write any more because I want to enjoy this lift for as long as it lasts and I also have a guest that I want to spend quality time with.
Then I want to watch an old film, probably a classic Hitchcock and sink into my sofa bed with the well being that comes from a really, really good day.
© Lindy 2015
NB: in the advice from the NHS CFSME clinic that I attended, it says that you shouldn’t treat a day like today as I have-i.e. running with it.
You should treat the day as if it is exactly the same as every other, with your usual routine and rest breaks and activity baseline intact. The advice proposes that if you run with it, you’ll produce something called Boom and Bust. More on Boom and Bust another time.
Today I said “Sod off, advice, having 1 day in 23 where I feel nearly normal again and having a fun, rich, enjoyable time because of it is completely worth it.”
Payback will always be in the post but my next ‘well enough day’ could be another nearly-a-month away. Emotionally a day like today is like gold dust.